A few weeks ago, I attended a work event with all of my colleagues, fast-forward through the actual work-related content, we all stayed in a lovely hotel in Reading and were treated to dinner and an open bar. Yep, an open bar. For some unknown reason, I decided it would be appropriate to drink as much as I possibly could in a short period of time. Cue Megan taking offence (loudly) to a very harmless comment over the dinner table with a colleague, – who I actually get on really well with – uncontrollable sobbing into various friend’s shoulders over an ex who I’m definitely over, and an unfortunate incident of falling head first into my own handbag.
The next morning was atrocious, I’ve never experienced beer fear quite like it, and the agonising journey to the office the next morning, I slumped in my friends car and tried to mask the shame by singing a loud rendition of Pony – just to add to the list of embarrassing things I’d already done.
Admittedly, I was very, very quiet that day, I tried with all my might to avoid the glances of those who’d witnessed me ugly-crying with snot all over my face (very sexy), and did in fact escape the horror and work from home that afternoon.
It probably took me a week to get over the shame, which quite frankly is ridiculous – let’s be honest, no one else actually cares! Honestly, sitting there and thinking ‘oh god, no one is going to respect me, no one is going to want to go out with me again’ etc etc, is just silly, and very self-obsessed. Everyone has their own sh*t going on, and they’ve not got time to sit down and analyse your behaviour from *that* work event.
From that day forward I’ve decided to implement the 10/10/10 rule in my life! This is where you take a step back and look at the situation you’re stressed/fretting/mortified about and considering this; will it matter in 10 minutes? Will it matter in 10 days? Will it matter in 10 years? The vast majority of the time the answer will be no, so what’s the use sitting there, sipping on your orange lucozade and hiding in your favourite scarf worrying about it? Pick yourself up, throw on a smile, make sure you achieve something productive in your day – no one else is fretting about it, so why should you.
Please drop me a message and let me know about a time you’ve found yourself mortified but realised it just didn’t matter – I could always do with a giggle!
PS. To gift you with a bit of a giggle, I thought I’d share with you some hilariously stupid but brilliant things that my friends and I have done since birth, which (hope you’re getting the theme here) DON’T MATTER!
- My friend Jo was on holiday in Paris and had a wee bit too much to drink, the curbs in Paris are quite high and it had been raining quite heavily, in her drunken state she decided that she could, wait for it, walk on water. Joely/Jesus stepped of the curb and broke her ankle there and then. I bet that one was fun to explain to French doctors.
- On a night out a few years ago, a few friends and I headed to a local club (Moos, for any of you that are local), and my pal had specifically told us not to let her contact a particular guy – she was in the ‘playing hard to get’ phase. Quite a few drinks later while dropping the Cha Cha Slide in the 90’s/cheese room we noticed this friend was nowhere to be seen, 20 minutes later I found her hiding from us outside, making roughly her 13th missed call to this bloke – it’s safe to say she wasn’t happy when I took her phone from her, but she definitely paid for it the next morning (so did my poor mum’s toilet).
- At the BCA Cheerleading Awards last year the coaches from Legacy all headed up to Telford for the event, a lot of alcohol was consumed, and at about 2am, my friend Hadley and I decided we HAD to go clubbing (everyone tried to tell us there were no clubs in walking distance), but we would not be stopped. The 8 feet gates probably should’ve stopped us, but apparently not, cue a lot of heave ho-ing and Hadley managing to scale this gate gracefully, I however got stuck, straddling the bloody thing. Earlier that evening I also felt it was appropriate to join the singer in a rendition of ‘When You Say Nothing At All’ by Ronan Keating. One of my finer nights. (Again, this purely makes me laugh now, unfortunately there’s video evidence of the singing shenanigans but I actually made a friend out of it, so every cloud eh!)